Why the path of a Witch can be lonely

A quiet memory deep inside of us longs for this memory, this sense of community with our sisters.

Have you ever had the feeling …

… that you are the one who had to take a different path than everyone else in your family?

… that you would be the one to break ancestral cycles?

… that you would be the one to leave home in order to explore the world & experience new things?

… that there is more magik to be found in this world and in yourself, but in order for you to find it, you’d just need to leave the familiar?

I personally love the Ghibli movie Kiki’s Delivery Service. At the age of thirteen, Kiki leaves her family and friends to improve her witch powers in a foreign city, as tradition demands of all the young witches. At the beginning, she encounters all kinds of difficulties and is very insecure, but then she has a brilliant business idea and regains confidence in herself. Being on such a journey is exactly how life as a witch has been for me. In fact, I’m still on this journey. And maybe you are, too.

So let’s take a look at why we may feel lonely as Witches.

Why do we feel lonely as Witches?

1. Residue of a memory

   I believe that this feeling of loneliness as a witch is a longing for what it must have been like in the past. The residue of a memory that is still in each and every one of our cells. Old stories about witches talk about how the witches met together in groups at night. Like flying to the Blocksberg on their brooms, for example. But what if witches met to study together, to exchange their knowledge and share their herbal knowledge or their knowledge about the moon phases (for example also with their younger ones)? I truly believe that there must have been a time when it was like that.* And a quiet memory deep inside of us longs for this memory, this sense of community with our sisters.

   *this thought came to me during a Womb Healing Ceremony a few months ago.

2. We don't feel like we belong

   Finding a place where you feel a sense of belonging is like being put in your Hogwarts house. And it’s just a natural desire that we want to belong somewhere and have a community with like minded people. We want to talk about things that we love with people we love and I think most of us also want to learn about the things we love from someone who is more experienced than we are. But especially as Witches it can take some time until we find our Hogwarts house.

3. We don’t feel seen or heard for who we truly are

   It’s just natural that we want to be seen or heard for our authentic self. Doing something that you love and having people that validate your knowledge and your skills is so rewarding. But having no one where you can safely share what you love makes you feel like that something is wrong with you and even lets you doubt the things you love. Modern Witches are often the ones to break ancestral cycles and who walk a completely new path. This can can be hard because not everyone will understand that, even if it’s close family or friends.

4. The Witch Wound

   On the other hand, the witch wound is still present to this day, probably making it hard for a lot of witches to even make this conscious decision to join a coven or share their authentic self with the world. This ancestral wound means that women have been taught to fear their power, in particular power that relates to the feminine energy.

   The Witch Wound can manifest in our lives as many different fears, like

   • the fear of Being your authentic self & speaking your truth

   • the fear of trusting your intuition & feeling unsafe to be in your feminine energy

   • the fear of being Successful & standing in your own power

   • Fears of being different and not fitting in

   • the fear of calling yourself a Witch, or Priestess or Pagan or others in public

   • or seeing other women as rivals, fearing their success and jealousy

Witches help others find a way to stop fearing thoughts, feelings, or uncanny experiences. We guide people through dark times. But first, we must walk ourselves through our own dark path.
- Courtney Weber

But sometimes this even means that we have to go at things alone for some time. Because the path of a witch is not just about doing the external work, like learning and discovering new spells and rituals or creating a sacred space or a book of shadows.

The path of a Witch also means to …

… forge a deep connection with yourself and the world around you

… and understand the cycles of nature and yourself and how you fit into the grand tapestry of life.

But this often requires to consciously step away from the noise of the world and retreat into the quiet corners of your mind - and the world - where true wisdom resides.

A modern witch is constantly doing the necessary inner work so she is able to improve her magik and I think that is something that is often overlooked.

If someone asked me what being a witch means to me I would say that it is constant healing. It is a constant healing of my own inner wounds and ancestral wounds as well as limiting belief patterns so that I can step into my most magikal self. It’s about learning to trust myself and constantly learning about my strengths and weaknesses.

So to me a modern witch is constantly doing the necessary inner work so she is able to improve her magik and I think that is something that is often overlooked.

But it takes courage to walk this path. It takes courage to walk a different path, that maybe people close to you expected you to go. It takes courage to say, no more people pleasing anymore and to stand up for yourself, because you know your self-worth and your strengths and you don’t need to justify them anymore.

But this can also mean that the journey of being a witch, of discovering your own magik, can be a solitary path.

Not everyone will understand you or why you are doing what you are doing. Not everyone will get your urge to discover new things and to dive deep into the occult. Not everyone will see the magik that you see in the world or feel this deep connection that you feel with nature and its cycles, with its inhabitants - seen and unseen - with crystals, with astrology or whatever there is for you. And this can feel like the whole world is against you and no one understands you. I have been there. Many times. I also know many Witches who were the girl that had to embark on a journey into the unknown to discover her magic but were seen as the “rebel” in their family as a result, making them feel lonely and hurt (but became badass confident witches years later ;))

So from my own humble experience, the path of a witch is all about developing unshakable trust in yourself. Because this is the only way you can continue on your own path when it gets shaky. Yes, walking your path as a witch probably will be different than most of the people you know. You will probably have to leave the familiar in order for you to find your unique magik, whatever “leaving the familiar” means for you.

And yes, there will probably be times when you will feel lonely, but know that you are not alone in this. When you are reading this, know that we all got your back!***

How to feel less lonely:

Now, how can you feel less lonely on your journey as a Witch? I think there is no one-fits-all-receipt because every journey is different. But here are some ideas that at least helped me along my way.

1. Find ways that give you a sense of belonging

   This could be an online community, a book club in your area, or an astrology group, herbal walks or a shamanic practitioners group. Even selling stuff at a flea market can be a cool way or going to flea markets makes you meet people all the time.

   And I know as an introvert (just like I am) it can be hard to get outside and meet new people. But trust me, if they share your interests, it is so much fun.

2. Find ways to feel heard

   This could literally mean that you spend time in nature and speak to the trees and the wind rustling through the leaves becomes your answer. Maybe it’s your pet that makes you feel heard, or working with your spirit guides.

3. Share your magik with the world

   To feel seen and heard to me also means to share your magik with thew world. It is so easy in our modern times to share your work with the world. If you feel comfortable being seen online, consider starting your youtube channel or a blog. If you do art, you could visit local crafts markets or art exhibitions. There are so many beautiful opportunities to share your magik with the world!

4. Honor the people who already do recognize the magik in you

   Honor those who already see you for who you truly are along your path. Maybe that’s a complete stranger that tells you that they love your witchy style of clothing. Maybe someone tells you that your singing or drawing is amazing. Focus on these little bread crumbs instead of focusing on the people that don’t understand you. And don’t judge them. I think this is the hardest one especially if it’s close friends or family. But you got this!

5. Follow your intuition!

   Maybe you do feel like that you need to leave your hometown and explore the world. Be brave. There is a reason you do. I think that feeling lonely is also the result of not following your soul’s desire. So maybe you are the daughter who needs to leave her hometown, the one who needs to see the world and make mistakes, swim in the oceans and FEEL the world in a way that no one of your family or friends every felt before. What I learned is that: When I follow my intuition, I cannot be lonely because the Universe always sends me fun new people, opportunities and new challenges.

6. Embrace the solitude

   I know, it is easier said than done but it is in these quiet moments that you truly find yourself … we always realize that only in retrospect though.***

I think that feeling lonely is also the result of not following your soul’s desire. But what I learned is that when I follow my intuition, I cannot be lonely because the Universe always sends me fun new people, opportunities and new challenges.

I hope you enjoyed this blog post about why the path of a witch can be lonely sometimes!
P.S. You can also watch my YouTube Video where I talk about this as well! 🤗⬇️⬇️⬇️

All my love,

Bebea

***For entertainment purposes only. This does not take the place of any medical diagnosis or legal advice. Any major decisions should be consulted by a professional. This does not take the place of that. None of what is shared here, should be used in place of therapy!